NoisyGeek HQ’s Top 10 Horror Movies

My Top 10 Horror Movies

I love a good horror movie, hell I even love the really bad horror movies you find in the bargain buckets. There’s no doubt that blood and guts appeal to my “rather them than me” side but it’s not just the hardcore gore movies I like, there are numerous horror comedies which I continue to watch over and over again because lets face it blood and laughter are an epic combination.

Halloween is definitely a horror movie celebration here at NoisyGeek HQ and with that in mind I’ve compiled a quick list of my top 10 horror movies (in no particular order). These are the returning champions I watch over the Halloween weekend and the list below features everything from Zombies to wall climbing Maniacs.

I hope you enjoy reading through the below, maybe you’ll find a movie you haven’t seen before or maybe you are wired in the same crazy way i am when it comes to horror movies and have seen/loved them all. Drop a comment below with a shout out of your favourites or give me suggestions on what horror movies I should watch after these.

Number 1: Dog Soldiers – an army squad find themselves hunted by a werewolf pack in the Scottish Highlands. This is my ultimate werewolf movie, despite the general rough edges Dog Soldiers is a great gore fest. The combination of Gore and Comedy ticks all the boxes for me. View the trailer here

Number 2: GingerSnaps – Another classic werewolf movie, GingerSnaps is the story of two sisters who find themselves in trouble when one of them is bitten by a werewolf. This was the movie that brought Katharine Isabelle to my attention (you should check her out in American Mary) and I love the way the transformation was handled. View the trailer here

Number 3: Zombieland – A shy student trying to reach his family in Ohio, a gun-toting tough guy trying to find the last Twinkie, and a pair of sisters trying to get to an amusement park join forces to travel across a zombie-filled America. This is a zombie movie I watch at last once every few months, I love the Survival rules and the level of humour Tallahassee (Woody Harrelson) brings. I’m sure you’ve seen this before so I wont go into too much detail but if you haven’t please make it one of the movies you watch this Halloween. View the trailer here

Number 4: Dead Heads – Two inexplicably coherent zombies awake amidst a zombie attack, and decide to take a road trip to find the one’s lost love, unaware they are being chased by the agents of a ruthless company with its own agenda. Another zombie flick, Dead Heads was the first time I’d come across coherent zombies. There is plenty of comedy value but the death of Cheese (RIP buddy *sniff*) is something that will cause a pinch of heartache in even the toughest movie buff. I haven’t been crushed by a zombie dying since. View the trailer here

Number 5: Black Christmas – A deranged maniac returns to his old family home to find it’s now inhabited by a group of sorority sisters. Soon the sisters are picked off one by one is and it’s a race to survive the night. There are two Black Christmas movies, the original 1974 which in itself is a skin crawling story and then you have the 2006 remake. The remake takes the skeeve factor to another level, there’s a scene where the maniac is crawling between walls like a deranged spider that still makes me throw up a little in my mouth, exactly what you want in a gore movie. View the trailer here

Number 6: The Conjuring – Paranormal Investigators are asked to help a family who are being haunted by a dark presence in their farmhouse. The conjuring is one of my top modern horror movies, it’s got tension and a level of disturbing realism that still makes me check the space between my bed and the floor after watching. View the Trailer here

Number 7: A Nightmare on Elm Street – the story of a group of American Teenagers who are hunted in their dreams by a burned serial killer. Freddy’s first movie had to make an appearance on this list, it’s a complete horror classic. Robert Englund has an onscreen presence that makes him one of my top baddies of all time. View the trailer here

Number 8: 30 Days of Night – After an Alaskan town is plunged into darkness for a month, it is attacked by a bloodthirsty gang of vampires. 30 Days of Night is one of the best gore heavy vampire movies for me. Its got a terrific lead vampire and plenty of blood to satisfy the horror fan in me. The team even made up a new language just for the vampires, 100% for effort. View the trailer here

Number 9: The Texas Chain Saw Massacre – Five friends visiting their grandfather’s house in the country are hunted and terrorized by a chain-saw wielding killer and his family of grave-robbing cannibals. Another classic, Texas Chainsaw is the exact level of creepy I like in my maniac movies, leatherface is obviously a well known baddie but his movie stands the test of time. View the trailer here

Number 10: Dracula – The vampire comes to England to seduce a visitor’s fiancée and inflict havoc in the foreign land. Another must see vampire movie, Dracula is one of the original vampire movies and stands the test of time. No sparkly vampires need apply. View the trailer here

So thats it, my top 10 horror movies for this weekend. I’ll be honest, it was really hard to pick just 10 out of all the horror movies ive seen. If there is bloods, guts or peril its generally going to be a hit…as long as there is no sparkly vampires!

Enjoy your Halloween weekend and stay safe

NG v–v

Tortured Life Review

Tortured Life

By Tpub

Genre: Horror Graphic Novel

Summary (TPUB site): Richard can see how you’re going to die. And he hates it. Cursed with visions of death, he decides to take his own life… but instead finds himself plunged into a conspiracy involving, murder, cults and a quest for immortality. He’s having a really bad week.

Tortured Life was one of the books I picked up from the Tpub stand at Glasgow Comic Con. There was a good selection of books I was interested in but Tortured Life caught my full attention.

I love a meaty horror series and Tortured Life was no exception. I’ve read it twice since buying and it’s currently sitting in the “favourite’s shelf” of NoisyGeek HQ.

The first thing that struck me about it was the high quality pages, the front cover is smooth and strokable (that’s an important quality for books trust me) and the binding is secure without restricting how the pages move.

Tortured Life isn’t just a pretty face, the story had me hooked from the first few pages. The idea of a secret group searching for immortality might be an old one but it was handled really well and given a fresh spin by the Tpub team. It wasn’t hard to work out why Tpub has so many fans.

There wasn’t one character I disliked, Bloodyman was my favourite and never failed to make me smile, he’s horrible but in a hilarious way.

You’re piss in the wind, just like the rest of them – only you were alive long enough to develop an identity” – Bloodyman

I liked that the artwork really suited the story, the colours are dark and the artwork itself was realistic which added weight to the drama in the pages.

I would recommend Tortured Life to anyone – with brilliant artwork and a well written story the Tpub team have created a 5 star series.

NoisyGeek Rating: 5 out of 5

Southpaw (2015) Review

Southpaw

Genre: Action/Drama/Sports

UK Rating: 15

SP4Summary (IMDB): Boxer Billy Hope turns to trainer Tick Willis to help him get his life back on track after losing his wife in a tragic accident and his daughter to child protection services.

***SPOILERS***

This movie reminded me of why I am so found of Jake Gyllenhaal. His portrayal of Billy Hope in Southpaw was brilliant, the tense boxing scenes and the emotional death of his wife Maureen (Rachel McAdams) were just two of the scene that stuck with me as an example of the depth Gyllenhaal can bring to a character. Lets not forget the amazing physical transformation he went through for this role, the man had to put serious work in to sculpt himself.

SP5Gyllenhaal and the supporting cast (Whitaker and Laurence especially) are what made Southpaw a good movie for me – The plot itself was very predictable, It wasn’t hard to guess how the story would pan out but the depth of emotion brought by the cast brought Southpaw to the next level.

I have to mention the soundtrack briefly, it matched the scenes perfectly – the songs Kings Never Die and Beast are currently my most played for October.

View the trailer here

NoisyGeek Rating: 4 out of 5

Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters (2013)

Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters (2013)

Genre: Action/Horror

UK Rating: 15

Summary (IMDB): Hansel & Gretel are bounty hunters who track and kill witches all over the world. As the fabled Blood Moon approaches, the siblings encounter a new form of evil that might hold a secret to their past.

When Hansel & Gretel was first released i watched the 3D version at the cinema and loved it. The effects worked well as 3D, it’s actually one of the best movies for 3D I’ve seen. One of the good things about H&G is that it doesn’t need to be watched in 3D though, the effects are brilliant on standard TV’s and that can’t be said for a lot of the newer movies.

HG3H&G has a lot of funny moments which breaks up the action scenes and is a refreshing twist on the old legend. Arterton and Renner are ideal for this role, they have a good chemistry on screen which brings the backstory to life. Mears makes an adorable troll and Janssen (X-men/Hemlock Grove) excels as Muriel the evil witch.

HG4Well worth a watch if you haven’t seen it already. You can view the trailer here

NoisyGeek Rating: 5 out of 5

Hello October

October Lineup

October is my favourite month of the year. The weather turns marvellous, i get to dig out all the comfy house stuff and indulge in a lot of hot chocolate…and chocolate coffee to warm up. Halloween is one of my top holidays of the year because it

I still have a lot of comics to review from the Con but I’ll also be reviewing horror movies (both old and new) throughout October to celebrate Halloween.

I’ll pick my Top 10 Horror Movies so watch this space on the 31st and see if you agree with my picks or if you have any suggestions on what should be a top 10 and why

Northmen: A Viking Saga Review

Northmen Review

Genre: Action/Adventure

UK Rating: 15

***Spoilers***

Summary (IMDB): A band of Vikings cross enemy lines and a panicked race begins. The losers will pay with their lives.

NM4

I love a Viking movie, even more so when it’s a bargain price in the local Tesco. Northmen started with a shipwreck and moved into a full bloody battle within minutes. There was a lot of fighting and big action scenes throughout this movie, most of them handled well camera wise. The battle scenes were good overall but there are some parts which seemed awkward, the fight in the boggy tar pit was overly bizarre.

The characters themselves were as you’d expect, all rugged, death and Valhalla. I was however a bit surprised that they didn’t make the leader Asbjorn more dominant, there were a few scenes where I was expecting a beat down to be delivered after his men kept giving him sass but it never surfaced. I appreciated the casting, each character had a charm and felt “right”as a Viking.

NM3The story line itself was good, I enjoyed it right up to the end which severely disappointed. How did he survive a steep plunge into tempestuous Scottish coastline waves and then manage to find the boat in a cave which was under water and row it out to pick everyone up (who also magically survived)? Must be some viking luck. Unfortunately the ending felt rushed and left me with a bad taste

A basic action movie with attractive casting but a poor ending

NoisyGeek Rating: 3 out of 5

You can view the trailer here

San Andreas Review

San Andreas (2015) Review

Genre: Action

Rating: 12A

Summary (IMDB) In the aftermath of a massive earthquake in California, a rescue-chopper pilot makes a dangerous journey with his ex-wife across the state in order to rescue his daughter.

****SPOILERS***

SA3San Andreas was a pleasant hit for me. It had all the action and drama promised in the trailer (which you can view here) topped off with some impressive scenes and a set of really likable characters. I actually found myself feeling gutted at the end when it looked like we weren’t going to be given a happy ending but that was resolved fairly quickly.

San Andreas ranks high on the list of recent action movie and fans of Dwayne Johnson will no doubt be delighted with his performance as the hero pilot

NoisyGeek Rating: 4 out of 5

Dawn After Dark: Kiss Me Deadly Review

Dawn After Dark: Kiss Me Deadly

By: Jesse Thomas, Matt Warner

Hellbound Media

Pages: 57

Category: Horror/Supernatural Graphic Novel

Summary (Hellbound Media): Collecting the original issues, and featuring a wealth of bonus artwork, this trade paperback features the début storyline of “Dawn After Dark”, the continuing chronicles of Dawn Keenan, Dublin’s premier vampire hunter.

57 black and white pages with brand new full colour pin up gallery.

Dublin’s very own foul-mouthed vampire hunter faces an undead conspiracy. Armed with knives, guns and a traditional wooden stake, Dawn is ready for anything

During the first few pages this reads as another Buffy but the team have delivered a dirtier more modern heroine. I was surprised with the ending and despite the foul language seeming out of place (I think it was because there was so much of it) I enjoyed reading this compilation.

Ideal for people who like Buffy/Horror Comics however due to the black and white colour scheme gore fans might be left wanting more.

NoisyGeek Rating: 4 out of 5

Gabriel Cushing: A Fright At The Opera

GABRIEL CUSHING: A FRIGHT AT THE OPERA

By: Amrit Birdi, Mark Adams

Hellbound Media

Pages: 52

Summary (HellBound Media): Gabriel Cushing stars in his first graphic novel adventure! The occult academic is called on to investigate the supernatural events that are occurring at the Palace Theatre as it prepares for an all new show. Soon he uncovers the murderous intentions of a Banshee, whose rage is directed at the cast, crew and audience.

Will Gabriel, and his friend Melanie Lancley, be able to stop the Banshee’s horrific assaults?

A fright at the opera was one of two HellBound novels I picked up at MCMGlasgow. It’s a different take on the standard banshee legend which I wasn’t entirely convinced about but it’s been handled well and fits with the location. The artwork on each page is black and white, I can’t help wishing it was colour pages which would have given some more depth to the characters expressions.

Overall a good short comic, more substance and some colour could make this great but its ideal if you are looking for a quick read.

NoisyGeek Rating: 3 out of 5

You can check out Hellbound Media’s page here

Aeronaut’s Windlass (The Cinder Spires #1) Review

The Aeronaut’s Windlass (The Cinder Spires #1)

By Jim Butcher

Genre: Fantasy Steampunk

Summary (Goodreads): Since time immemorial, the Spires have sheltered humanity, towering for miles over the mist-shrouded surface of the world. Within their halls, aristocratic houses have ruled for generations, developing scientific marvels, fostering trade alliances, and building fleets of airships to keep the peace.

Captain Grimm commands the merchant ship, Predator. Fiercely loyal to Spire Albion, he has taken their side in the cold war with Spire Aurora, disrupting the enemy’s shipping lines by attacking their cargo vessels. But when the Predator is severely damaged in combat, leaving captain and crew grounded, Grimm is offered a proposition from the Spirearch of Albion—to join a team of agents on a vital mission in exchange for fully restoring Predator to its fighting glory.

And even as Grimm undertakes this dangerous task, he will learn that the conflict between the Spires is merely a premonition of things to come. Humanity’s ancient enemy, silent for more than ten thousand years, has begun to stir once more. And death will follow in its wake…

I picked Aeronaut’s Windlass up by chance as I was looking for something to read on the journey home. I didn’t know that Butcher had created a new series so I was intrigued to see this on the shelf. A new series by the creator of Dresden? Hell yes I wanted it.

Aeroanut’s Windlass is a decent (urgh I hate that word, it seems so middle of the road) action book, heavy on steampunk flavour which isn’t usually my cup of tea but the summary caught me enough to make me want to read it. Captain Grimm was a good character, casting a Captain Reynolds (Serenity) feel almost instantly. The idea of talking cats delighted me, Rowl had some excellent moments and was my favourite character next to Grimm.

“I am cat,” Rowl said smugly, “which means I have made better use of my time.”

― Jim Butcher: The Aeronaut’s Windlass

The downside for me was the lack of description for the setting, the world sounded amazing (who doesn’t want to live in the clouds with magical technology) but I found it hard to create an image in my head which was unusual for me. More description on how the world worked and what it looked like would have made this stand out from the crowd.

I struggled to type this because I am really not a fan of movies made from books but Aeronaut’s Windlass could be the exception if given the right budget and actors/effects. I won’t bore you with my long list of casting choices for Captain Grimm but picture a steampunk Captain Reynolds…You are welcome.

Overall a decent (there’s that word again!) read, I’d love to see some concept drawings for the world itself and look forward to seeing if the next book exceeds its predecessor.

NoisyGeek Rating: 4 out of 5